The Silent Crisis of Success: Why High Achievers Feel Empty at the Top
Claire Brumby (United Kingdom)
During my years as a leadership coach, a common experience shared with me isn’t one of performance, strategy or even capability. It’s one which I have felt myself too, many years ago. The feeling of emptiness. Where career and achievements look enviable on paper, and from the outside perspective looking in. The ladders have been climbed and goals achieved. The reality though tells a whole other story. One that reads ‘whose life am I actually living?’
This is the silent crisis of success. What might well surprise you is that it isn’t as uncommon as you might think.
Research confirms the evidence I myself have seen. A 2022 survey by Deloitte Canada and Lifeworks of more than 1,100 senior leaders found that 82% had experienced exhaustion indicative of burnout. 96% reported that their mental health had declined as a result. The telling statistic was that 51% had considered leaving their roles entirely. To be clear, these are not people who had ‘failed.’ They are the ones who’ve succeeded, by every conventional and ‘expected’ measure that is.
So, what exactly is going on? In my experience, the emptiness high achievers feel at the top isn’t random or even a mystery. I’ve identified some specific reasons why it happens. I believe that understanding them is the first step to actually being able to do something about it.
Firstly, they have mastered the art of performance, but not of who they really are. This performance can begin at an early age and can start with what information we absorb. Perhaps in the form of feedback which could have had the message of; ‘soften your approach,’ ‘don’t be so direct.’ ‘don’t be too much.’ So, being a high achiever, they adapt and become the best at reading what it is people want from them, and then deliver that impeccably. Sure enough, it works, they are seen as a ‘safe pair of hands’ and ‘easy to work with.’ There’s a cost that comes with that over time though, which isn’t so obvious at the outset.
A 2023 Pew Research Centre survey found that 53% of postgraduate workers consider their job central to their overall identity. Psychologists warn that over-identifying with a professional role, rather than a genuine sense of self, erodes resilience, and leaves people feeling vulnerable when the role no longer feels meaningful and aligned.
When you’ve spent years becoming an expert at performing a version of yourself, the performance eventually starts to feel like who you are. The real you though, gets buried under the layers of professional conditioning. This ultimately leads to a disconnection from self. This is one of the primary drivers of the emptiness they feel at the top.
Secondly, it’s a common occurrence that some high achievers have been living with and chasing someone else’s version of success. A question that I believe more leaders should sit with in their early careers is ‘who’s definition of success am I actually chasing?’
Source: iCN Issue 54 (Coaching Practice & Innovation); page 40
About Claire Brumby
Claire Brumby is a leadership coach, trainer, entrepreneur, keynote speaker and author of Forget Normal – I Want Magic: The 5 Rules of Leadership, published by Kogan Page 3 April
