Sarah Haté (France)

One of the things I absolutely love about NLP is the power of dissociation and perceptual positions. As a child, I was often told to put myself in someone else’s shoes but, never actually told HOW to do it. I still remember how I felt when I learnt how to do this during my training to be a coach. This technique really opened my eyes to not only my own behaviour and attitudes, but also to how I could make my loved ones feel through such behaviour. It was a game changer for me, and something I continue to practise in all my relationships.

Perceptual positions is a form of NLP modelling that enables a person to step into somebody else’s shoes, in order to see what they see and feel what they feel. There are three main positions to consider when using this technique: first position or being in your own shoes, second position or being in the other person’s shoes, and third position or being an outside observer.

Being in the other person’s position enables us to see and understand the world through their eyes, and to tap into their emotions and feelings. This can be extremely powerful and in my experience, tearful, as we often realise how our behaviour can have a negative effect on others, even if this is not our initial intention. When we step into the outside observer’s role, we can analyse the relationship and identify the changes that we can make to improve it.

Source: iCN Issue 27 (Using NLP in Coaching); pages 23-25


Sarah Haté is a trainer, public speaker and certified professional life coach. She has a passion for giving her clients the space they need to reconnect with themselves and rediscover their authentic self, in order to create a magical, positive life for themselves and their loved ones. She has recently created a private, online community, Walking the Path to Confidence, to empower sensitive men and women seeking a better life balance and more fulfilling relationships.

Sarah created So Free Coaching, to offer one-to-one sessions, group sessions and workshops. As she lives in the south of France, her clients are both French and English-speaking. She trained in Development Coaching with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) with Simply Changing Limited, and recently obtained her Level-1 certificate in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).


Walking the Path to Confidence:

Simply Changing Limited: