By Krystyna Howe (Poland)

It was Maya Angelou who stated without illusion: People will forget what you said, theywill even forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

In any relationship, including a coaching relationship, it is so important to show how much people matter to us and how much we care about them. ‘People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care’ – says Peter Lewis of Leader Shape. We have to be aware that within a matter of four seconds we can loose that precious commodity that is trust. Within those 4 seconds our brain is computing and assessing the initial impression which is crucial to establishing rapport. And, at this moment, we need to find our unique way of dealing with every person.

What exactly is rapport?

Rapport comes from the French verb rapporter – to bring back, to refer. The English meaning, a relation of harmony and conformity indicates its importance to communication. It is being said that rapport is ‘emotional glue’ and a ‘magic formula’ for establishing a relationship. In a coaching relationship, the client and the coach must be comfortable with each other, have mutual respect and approach the sessions with good intention.

Source: iCN Issue 4 (NLP in Coaching); pages 22-23

About Krystyna Howe

Polish, studied literature and communication in Warsaw. In 2002 married irresistible English man and since then has been living in London. After the ‘credit crunch’ in 2009, decided to go back to what was always her interest and studied life coaching with Noble Manhattan. Now works on simplifying everything, learning to return to the roots and enjoying life as it is, starting as a freelance writer. In addition to life coaching, trained as NLP practitioner and Clean Language facilitator. As a life coach, has a particular interest and passion towards children’s education and their development. Prior to coaching, worked for several years in hospitality and banking, gaining experience in different customer facing roles.

Her interest includes ongoing personal development and effective communication, observing life and people, writing and travelling; and simple cooking (Italian is the best) and dancing (favourite Argentinean tango).