By Jimmy Petruzzi (United Kingdom)

(1st Part can be found in iCN Issue 16 – NLP & Coaching; pages 27-30)


The sense of identity appears early in life as the infant begins to separate itself from the mother in what they previously viewed as an undifferentiated unit. A mirror image of themselves can provide the sudden shock of realising that they are separate beings. Young children typically cling to a single teddy bear, toy or doll, through which they know their own identity. When this transition object, so called by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, is removed, a part of their identity is lost, causing distress and tears. This pattern continues through our lives as we identify with our possessions and the things around us and feel bad when they are changed or lost.

One of my clients, who had a successful career in modelling, was coming to the end of her career. She was suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, feeling down, uncertainty and apprehension. All her working career she had been judged on her appearance and this seemed to spill into her personal life. She said if she went out and someone made a comment about her appearance, it would stay with her for days, she would analyse it, it would affect her mind set.

After doing a couple of sessions with her, I asked the following question. “Who are you?” She looked at me with a blank expression and said she couldn’t answer it. She emailed me a few days later saying she was still struggling to answer the question.

Source: iCN Issue 16 (NLP & Coaching); pages 27-30

JimmyPAbout Jimmy Petruzzi

Peak Performance Coach, Best Selling Author, Broadcaster & NLP Expert.

Jim has worked in many countries with successful people including Premiership Football teams, Top Athletes, Politicians, Businesses, Entrepreneurs, TV Celebrities, Teachers and Schools, helping them to achieve Peak Performance in all aspects of their lives using NLP.

Based in the UK, and abroad, Jim has implemented and transferred many of his unique and breakthrough concepts from athletic performance, to business and personal development with great success.