New Coaching Tool to Boost Self-Confidence: ‘The Good Enough Sets’

by Laura Komócsin (Hungary)

A recent research project revealed that the self-confidence of Hungarians is significantly below international average. Seeing the results, Laura Komócsin Master Certified Coach decided to launch a free nationwide program with the ambitious goal of reaching the international benchmark within 3 years. Acting as ‘Self-confidence Ambassadors’, over 100 coaches across the country volunteer to provide individual or group coaching sessions to participants. The program starts with an initial self-assessment in order to see how confident participants are. Depending on the results, multiple coaching techniques are offered to boost participants’ self-confidence, including ‘positive gossip’ and the Johari window. In this article, I would like to introduce another tool that turned out to be extremely helpful.

The basic idea behind this new coaching tool can be traced back to Bruno Bettelheim’s book, A Good Enough Parent: A Book on Child-Rearing, which was published in 1988.

People with low self-esteem and insecurity in certain areas need more than a simple ‘You are good at this’ kind of compliment. They need ‘objective measurement’: established standards or benchmarks they can measure themselves against. In certain areas of life, for instance, driving a car, such objective measurements exist: you can think about yourself as a good driver, your friend sitting next to you in the car can confirm, but objective measurement if you pass the driving test.

When I started my career as a professional coach, I had many doubts about my work: was it good enough what I was doing? At the time, there was nothing or nobody to compare my work with. My clients helped me a lot when they voiced their satisfaction and recommended me to others, but it still was not enough. I felt something was missing. I was unable to say that I am a good coach. So I did some digging and I found out that there is a worldwide organisation that offers ‘the golden standard for coaching’ :the International Coaching Federation. I sent several audio recordings of my coaching sessions for assessment and when I received my ICF MCC credential, I was relieved that I am amongst the highest-ranking coaches worldwide.

Objective measurement is possible in many other fields such as language tests or any other exams, various competitions and professional qualifications. However, there are many areas of life where such objective standards are not available. For example, a mother can only believe her own child if she is a ‘good enough’ mother. There is no other way to assess her skills or performance as this is the only feedback she can rely on – and the only way to undermine or boost her self-confidence.

With this in mind, we can distinguish three different perspectives for assessing performance:

  1. It is good enough by objective standards
  2. It is good enough for the affected
  3. It is good enough for me

Source: iCN Issue 40  (Relationship Coaching); pages 14-15

Laura Komócsin About Laura Komócsin

Internationally accredited executive coach. Together with his colleague, Benedek Nikoletta, they created the first Hungarian coaching model, DIADAL.

Laura has successfully coached senior managers of many large companies, such as SPAR, PEPSI, Ericsson, Magyar Telekom, MOL, IBM, Grundfos, Hilti, Suzuki, Morgan Stanley, BMW, FLEX, Hydro, Sanofi, KUKA Robotics, Accenture, etc.

In 2014, Laura launched the SPARKLE self coaching global CSR program, whose eBook has already been translated into 24 languages. And in 2020, her professional activity was evaluated with the coach professional lifetime achievement award awarded by the Hungarian Coach Association.