by Barbara Roux-Levrat (Switzerland)

How do you react when you miss your train? Or lose your Ray Bans? Or are facing bankruptcy? Do you immediately get angry? Like: ‘Life, can you give me a freaking break?!?!’ Or do you feel sad, like: ‘What a loser, you can’t even catch the right train!’ Or do you have suicidal thoughts? How easily do you lose your peace and joy?

That’s the best way to know how emotionally tough you are. Or are not. Going into sadness and self-pity reveals that you are operating under a victim mentality: ‘the world is out to get me and I can’t even manage the most simple things. Poor me… 🙁 ‘ Going into anger is an indication that you feel entitled: ‘the world/God/the universe owes me and that bastard’s not delivering…! Arghhh!’ Both of these emotions – or attitudes – make our situations worse and rob us of our capacity to solve problems.

Emotional strength does not mean that we have no emotions. Definitely not. In fact, individuals who are afraid to face their own emotions escape into a fantasy reality by becoming addicted to drugs, alcohol, entertainment, food, work, sleep… anything to numb their feelings and take their minds away from the unpleasant reality they feel incapable of handling. In other words, emotions are a necessary part of life. You could call them the entertainment of life!

(Photo by Fausto García on Unsplash)

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Source: iCN Issue 24  (Relationship Coaching); pages 25-26

About Barbara Roux-Levrat

Barbara is Europe’s #1 expert in teaching women who are ‘too nice’ how to become kick-ass! She used to be herself a woman who was ‘too nice’, a co-dependent, until she managed to get out of toxic patterns in her life and break free from a long relationship with a narcissist.

She has been a coach for the last 10 years and is also a speaker and expert on Emotional Strength. She has helped many women turn around their lives, and she wants to help many more! She is a native of the Dominican Republic and has lived in Europe for more than 20 years. She is currently the President of the Geneva Coaching Support Group for Noble Manhattan Coaching.