By Krystyna Howe (Poland)
We’ve all heard the saying: ‘You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink’. It is absolutely true. How do I know? Because I tried to make it drink! For over 20 years, to give you an idea – you may call it stupidity – nowadays I choose to be kinder to myself and call it ‘ignorance’. As I bitterly failed, I started to look more into where I went wrong.
As coaches, we all know that people change either out of inspiration or out of desperation. Only, if the pull is irresistible or if the pain is too big! And, as coaches we need to think wisely how we might help.
Rule Number 1: No advice, no problem solving!
Coaching styles and approaches can vary from individual to individual but there are some fundamental rules that apply in all cases. The first rule of coaching is that the coach cannot end up solving the individual’s problems for them or be giving advice. The coach’s job is to help the individual understand the issues, come up with possible solutions and put them into practice. The coach must not, however, end up as a crutch for the individual to lean on.
Source: iCN Issue 3 (Life Coaching); pages 09-10
About Krystyna Howe
Polish, studied literature and communication in Warsaw. In 2002 married irresistible English man and since then has been living in London. After the ‘credit crunch’ in 2009, decided to go back to what was always her interest and studied life coaching with Noble Manhattan. Now works on simplifying everything, learning to return to the roots and enjoying life as it is, starting as a freelance writer. In addition to life coaching, trained as NLP practitioner and Clean Language facilitator. As a life coach, has a particular interest and passion towards children’s education and their development. Prior to coaching, worked for several years in hospitality and banking, gaining experience in different customer facing roles.
Her interest includes ongoing personal development and effective communication, observing life and people, writing and travelling; and simple cooking (Italian is the best) and dancing (favourite Argentinean tango).