by Sheron Silvera (UK)
I want to share with you my thoughts on being Authentic.
I have had some challenging experiences in my life which has led me to my path to become a Mindset and Transformation Coach. Supporting Aspiring Entrepreneurs find their Purpose and step into the lifestyle they were meant to live.
Authenticity is the opposite of shame. It reveals our humanity and allows us to connect with others. Shame creates most of all co-dependency symptoms, including hiding who we are, sacrificing our needs, and saying yes when we rather not – all to be accepted by someone else. It warps our communication and damages our relationships so that we control, patronise, criticise, blame, deny, withdraw, attack, and make empty promises to keep a relationship and reassure ourselves we’re okay even when we don’t believe it.
Hiding Who You Are
For most of us, our self-doubt and hiding has been going on so long that by adulthood, we’ve lost touch with who we truly are. We’ve grown accustomed to behaving in certain predictable roles that worked in our more or less troubled families, in school, and in our work. In the process, we sacrifice a degree of freedom, spontaneity, vulnerability, and parts of ourselves. When we marry, for most of us, our personality contracts further into the role of husband or wife, father or mother, and what is acceptable to maintain the marriage.
Authenticity Requires Courage
Authenticity and intimacy require courage. Each move we make toward authenticity risks exposure, criticism, and rejection, but facing those risks also affirms our real self. There’s no question that rejection and loss hurt, but paradoxically, risking vulnerability makes us safer, and our defences weaken us. Healing our shame, building self-esteem, autonomy, and our ability to be assertive and set boundaries can make us feel more secure. When we’re authentic, it invites our partner to do the same. It keeps love alive, and we’re more likely to get our emotional needs met. We not only feel stronger when we are honest, it begins to heal our shame. It also avoids the myriad of defences and the misunderstandings and conflicts that they create.
Source: iCN Issue 26 (Life Coaching); pages 58-59
About Sheron Silvera
Mindset and Transformation Strategist. Sheron has many years of experience working in health and social care and holds a postgraduate degree in Social Sciences. Sheron has a City and Guilds in Complimentary Therapies, Anatomy and Physiology, Massage Therapy, Reflexology and a Diploma in Health and Nutrition. To add to her achievements she recently completed a Pranic Healing Course Level 1 and a Life Coaching Certification NLP Advanced Level. As a Mindset and Transformation Strategist Sheron asserts that making a difference begins with you. Sheron will support you in understanding and removing what is in the way of your desires and will challenge you to say “no” to going through the motions of life and enthusiastically say “yes” to the miracles that are available to you. Sheron begins by taking an overview of your life and identifying areas that need action and/or attention. Assisting you in establishing clear, concrete, measurable goals and support you in connecting to your own inner wisdom. There is nothing you cannot shift. You are capable of so much more than you know or are currently creating. Sheron is also a author of two books Emotional Self Mastery (ebook) and Strength of a Woman (Anthology)
