by Katie Denyer (UK)

One of our most basic needs as human beings is to be ‘in a relationship’ with another human being. Being ‘in relationship’, whether romantically, platonically, professionally or familially, can provide one of the deepest senses of fulfilment, connection and belonging. However, given that we can only connect with others as deeply as we’re willing to connect with ourselves, we must first learn how to be in relationship with self. Without knowing who we truly are, creating deep, intimate, meaningful relationships with others can be extremely challenging.

So how do we form and nurture a healthy, fulfilling and purposeful relationship with self?

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, in order to ‘become everything one is capable of becoming’ (Maslow, 1987), we must first have some basic, psychological needs satisfactorily met. One of these needs is for interpersonal relationships. Interestingly, however, Maslow places our need for relationships after the basics such as food, water, shelter and safety. Yet, as babies we rely upon some sort of relationship with our mother, father or other primary caregiver, to meet those needs in the first place. For me then, relationships are not so much a particular stage of a hierarchy. For me, relationships are at the absolute core of everything.

Our ability to develop healthy, fulfilling and purposeful relationships both with ourselves and others is sadly not inherent within us.

Source: iCN Issue 24  (Relationship Coaching); pages 27-28

About Katie Denyer

Katie Denyer is ILM Certified & with Diploma in Executive Coaching.  She is a high performing Leadership Development Coach who works holistically with clients to help them let go of fear, get to the roots of self-doubt and find their inner fire. She believes in thinking differently and embracing vulnerability. Katie provides a space for clients to think about how they can be their own best asset in work, life and relationships.

Connect with Katie on Instagram at @pj_coaching.